Alcohol is my friend. For now.

Alcohol is not the answer, it's the question. Yes is the answer. 
For most of you this will probably make no sense at all because we are constantly told that alcohol doesn't solve any problems. That is right but for once alcohol made me realise things that I wouldn't have done sober.
Usually when under the influence of alcohol you tend to text your ex begging for forgiveness or you might even write a rude thing about how much you hate him. Both are signs that you aren't moving on and still hoping for him to come back to you. Yesterday I drank more than I have the last 6 months, not because I wanted to get really drunk but that's what you end up doing when you're playing drinking games and you are not that innocent anymore.
When doing this I discovered that I had got my libido back, probably because we were talking about sex and I thought about how it was with my ex which still makes me feel the urge but the thing that made me feel that alcohol actually was my friend was that I had no urge to text my ex. Instead I was thinking back to it with a positive view. He gave me a few happy good months, yes he gave me a few horrible weeks and sometimes some days when I miss him but I have no intentions to try to convince him to get back with me.
I felt stronger and I had the power in my hands. I don't need to get my revenge anymore. I have taken control over my feelings, my fapping and my future.
So for now, alcohol is my friend because even when I am under the influence of the worst decision maker in the world, I can still make good decisions.